All thats left
by Reinxofxtears
Summary: Naruto and sasuke Are in love and though love is sweet, prejudice and hatred from those once known as allies can turn even the sweetest things sour. This is what is left once The haven built by love is torn down by loss of all that was once clear. oneshot


Why

Why?! Why did this have to happen? Why did I have to fall in love with him. Sasuke, of all people? Why did I have to love him?

And Why did he have to love me back?... Now All I do is cry. All because of love ...

All this started a year ago when he told me how he felt.

We were walking home from a day of training. Well actually I offered to walk him home. On the way he got cold and I gave him my orange jacket. Damn if I wasn't so hot from being nervous and embarrassed I think I'd have frozen to death. When we got to his house he invited me in, his voice seemed softer. After we entered we sat, and for the first time, we just talked. Before that, all we ever did was fight or train together. What really shocked me though was when he scooted close to me. And he even smiled at me. His beautiful onyx eyes gazing at me. Warm and inviting, a small innocent grin appeared on his lips I couldn't help it. What I wanted more then anything in that moment was to smother his perfect lips with my own. And then , on top of all my confused emotions he had to whisper softly in my ear, the words I had yearned to hear since our first mission together... Our first major mission , when we had gone to the village in the mist.

" Baka ... I.. think I love you"

My heart skipped a beat and the next thing I knew, there he was perched over me, my lips moving along his delicate neck, along his collar. Soon it was gone, his shirt along with mine, and his shorts were coming undone. How amazingly feminine and perfect his body was; that whole night was like a dream.

Our bodies moved together in unison ...it all felt so right. It wasn't lust or a sin, we were meant to be like this. Just me and him together; no barriers, no one else ... just our love...

For a while we kept it secret, meeting at night and cuddling or kissing ... or making love.. and then we decided. We're in love, why shouldn't we let it be then it Began... The teasing.. the prejudice. He endured the worst of it. The last Uchiha. He carried all the regret, anger, dreams and pressure that came with that title, and I never heard him complain. Not even once.

A "fag" ... to him, on the outside, it was a disgrace to his name. To Everyone I had always been thought of as them it was no surprise that I turned out that way. So I didn't feel anymore of an outcast than I was already.

I pleaded with him that we keep it private, it would be easier for him that way... but he wouldn't hear of it...

Words didn't hurt... but after I while... We learned that if words weren't enough, then people would find other ways that would... It began with tossing rocks or occasionally Kunai at us... Konohagakure's "queers". People's capacity for cruelty knew no bounds.

Now that I think back on it, I still don't see what was so wrong with what we did. When did falling in love become a sin or 'disgusting'? Doesn't love feel the same no matter who is involved?

Apparently not. I wish someone could have warned me... or at least him, for his sake. If we had never begun as rivals then maybe then I could have stopped my heart from drawing me to him. Though I still refuse to be sorry for loving him. I am only sorry for the pain that our love caused him. My dear, sweet, perfect Sasuke.. I am sorry...

I remember when it was the worst.

He was walking to come and get me. We were going to go to dinner together and I asked him to come and get me since I had some cleaning to do, Sakura was fed up with my apartment and I just wanted to be with him for as long as possible. I looked at the clock and realized that he was over an hour late. Sasuke was never late ... and so I went so find him, hoping he had just forgotten and that it was nothing more sinister.

When I finally found him there was only one person still there, Iruka sensei.. Of all people. Smiling at the helpless, bruised and bleeding boy at his feet. He looked disappointed when his eyes turned to me. And for the first time I felt ashamed... Me, ASHAMED? Ashamed that I had fallen in love?! How pathetic could I be! The one that I loved was bleeding and half dead on the ground and the first thing that I had felt was shame.

I only felt ashamed that I loved him... How selfish and stupid I was.

I didn't see him much after that. He slowly began to pull away from me. And everyone.

He would still kiss me and let me hold him occasionally, in his bed. He stopped speaking and his eyes went cold... colder then when we had first met.

And then it happened, he had spent the night at my house. I had fallen asleep With him beside me. When I woke up He was already gone from my bed. I went to the kitchen... and there I saw him... on the floor.

His body was curled up, and he was cradling a picture of us hugging and smiling. I touched his cheek.. it was like touching ice ... his eyes were closed, tear stains streaming down his face. It must have been soon after I went to bed for him to be so limp and cold... I had never cried so much in my life.

I truly hope that being gay is not a sin... Because he means everything to me and whenever I remember how he was treated... he really deserves peace, some sort of redemption. He deserves heaven. It's where he belongs; he really was an angel.

Even now, just thinking about it chokes me with sadness and anger. my tears are falling.. Why couldn't we be together? Why did they all hate us just because we were in love. I didn't love him because of his gender, it just turned out that way, what did it really matter if he was a man? Is that so wrong?! If it had been Sakura I loved or Hinata, would anyone have objected? No! And why? Because they have breasts? Because they can bear children?!... Sasuke was at heart gentler and more beautiful then any of the girls in our village.. So what made it so taboo? He was my soul mate.. do souls even HAVE a gender?!

It rained that day... just as it is now... Probably why he is on my mind so much today...Hinata and I are engaged now.. I could never love her like I loved him.. but she held me when I cried, and for the rest of my life it would be enough. It would have to be enough.

She was there as I mourned.. and how else could I repay her?

I had known for a long while she had feelings for me.. and when his soul left it took mine with it... I am nothing now.. just a shell of what I was.

She was kind and gentle. So why not let her have what's left? This is my punishment for letting hell touch such an angel. For not protecting him, I should have been the one to be sacrificed, I was an outcast after all .

I hope that wherever he is he can forgive me.


End file.
